Why?

wowowo~~ haaaaaaiiii!!! XD aku grace!!! jadi kita balik lagi yey cuy! hari demi hari, aku ngeliat banyak banget yang ngunjungin nih blog :9 entah ada gerangan apa :p tapi kalian baik banget sichhhh >< #alay thankyou for you all! i will keep posting as i can as inspirations come to me :3 wkwkwk *buat yang ngerti-ngerti aja* jadi sekarang pengen ngebahas apa.... aku gatau pengen ngebahas apa tapi aku lagi pengen blogging '-' abis gaada kerjaan.. hampa banget. btw, ada yang tau gimana bikin jadwal tidur jem 9 -_- dan bangun jem 5? belakangan ini gw susah banget buat tidur.. insomnia gara gara kebanyakan liburan. -_- feel free to comment ya '-' hueeeeeee!!! susah banget tau buat tidur pagi. Aku uda tidur"an mencoba untuk tidur eh malah gabisa -_- bayangin aja. Akhirnya overthinking sampe jem 2-3an. Terkadang saya lelaaaaaah. Ya namanya hidup... mau diapain lagi? Entahlah, terkadang hidup itu baik dan memberi harapan kayak mbak mbak SPG yang nawarin barangnya yang bagus, tapi begitu bener bener ngeliat harga barangnya jadi speechless.. Harapan buat gw hidup itu uda kayak air laut. Pasang surut terus. Grace gatau mau post apalagi.. maaf ya... grace sedih.. T^T maafin grace ya, grace emg gabisa jadi yang terbaik.... grace selalu salah. Grace benci grace... grace ga pengen hidup. Cape dikayak gituin terus.. cape. Cape banget. 
Even when you see me as a strong girl.
A girl that never been hurt, act like i was really happy.
but, deep inside.. i'm hurt.
My heart broken into pieces.
Never wanted to be like this.
Struggling everyday, trying to fix myself to be a better person.
Seeing other girl, that looks perfect.
I'm so jealous with them, why does their life was perfect?
I know them so well, and i know.. they have the best life that everybody longing for.
Beautiful, Rich, Healthy, Smart, Having a best friends.
Why I can have a beautiful grace like that too?
They said they lost their parents and said felt the most pain.
I can't see them hurting, I can see them shopping and do all things that make them happy.
Because what? because the grace that God give, but why? Why some people that feel the most pain can't feel happy?
Why?
God, Why people that feel pains the most can't happy like them?
Why in this world's everybody make money as their god?
Why does the rich people always happy? They never sad man!
They can get what they want. 
Oh, God. Just why? Why?!
Ah, I'm so rude asking to You, Lord. I asking about Your power. I'm sorry.
Sorry Lord, for everything what I've been done.
Lord, please help me through this pain.
I know the pain that i felt is nothing to compare than Your pain in Calvary.
I'm just too weak without You, God.

Abaikan aja ya yang satu ini, cedih cekalihh.
baii semua~ bai~ bai bai~~~
*mati lampu*